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Insourcing...Inner Guidance Secrets

by Pam Garcy, Ph.D.

Learn how to stop listening to everyone else about what to do with your life and start walking upon your own path!

How to stop listening to everyone else! Part 5.

"My critical voice is so loud, that I don't hear anything else!"

I might surprise you with the first thing I'm going to say--I'm sure most of you are not expecting me to go here. But, here it is: Critical thinking is a great skill! It helps you to determine what is right or wrong for your life. It helps you to decipher which information is potentially useful, and which may become detrimental. It keeps you on your toes! Ironically, this is actually part of the problem....

You see, we have learned to trust critical thinking, because often it saves us from harm and often steers us in the right direction. Think about when Mom or Dad told you that you were too close to the fire--this information kept you from getting burnt. If they told you that you were staying up too late, that you were eating too much, that you weren't studying enough, what did you do? You might have changed your behavior and gotten better results, leading you to buy into the idea that criticism is helpful. Indeed, criticism in these examples often stemmed from love.

That part is fine. The unfortunate thing is that some of you have actually become complacent and even lazy when it comes to critical thinking. You go only half way with it. You decide that the first critical thoughts that come to you must be right, simply because they're critical. Then, you choose to accept some half-baked critical thoughts as accurate when they may not be at all! CRITICAL has become confused with COMFORTABLE.

This is especially true when it comes to the "self". Self-criticism is often steeped in half-baked thought.

An example: Starra looked in the mirror and decided she was ugly--she had a pimple on her nose. She accepted this half-baked thought and went about her day, carrying herself as though she were defiling the environment around her.

So, if Starra were in therapy, what would we do to create growth?

We might help Starra by asking her to finish "baking" her idea. How do we finish baking this idea? One way is to finish what she started--CRITICIZE THE CRITICISM! If the criticism holds up, then maybe it is well founded. Often, it folds easily with a little perseverance.

Starra is probably focusing in on one aspect of herself, and is totally ignoring all the other aspects. So, Starra could start by saying, "Just because I have a pimple on my nose, it doesn't mean that I'm ugly. I have many other appealing aspects to my external beauty--and more importantly, to my internal beauty. A pimple is probably only a sign that my body is ridding itself of toxins, and it is normal for people to have these at times."

(If Starra were really courageous, she could go even deeper and address the premise of her "musts" regarding ugliness and beauty. She may be holding a deep belief that she must always appear beautiful. When she is ready, she could ask herself, "What law is there that I must be pretty all the time or ever? Who says I must look one way or another in order to fulfill "beauty" and how do they arrive at that definition? Who shall I allow to define beauty for myself? What is the cost of calling myself ugly? What is the benefit? Is there any other way to look at this pimple on my face?")

When it comes to yourself, do you decide that your critical thoughts are accurate, before even looking at any alternatives? Do you ever challenge your self-criticism? Or, do you think it must be right because it is critical, and critical is comfortable? Do you ever ask yourself if it is true? Do you determine whether it is serving you to hold onto half-baked ideas?

So, I'm not telling you to shut your voice up. Just finish the thinking. The plan is to enact critical thinking not just critical!

Thank you for reading. More tips to come...

Want to work with Dr. Pam? www.myinnerguide.com

REMEMBER: This is a process. You can begin now! Keep it going, and you'll free yourself to pursue your passion! As you begin to create personal time for yourself, you will be more open to your own inner guidance and walking upon your own path!

The information contained here is not a substitute for professional help. If you're in need of professional help, please contact your doctor for a referral.

Permission is granted to reprint all or part of this newsletter as long as the following information is also included: Pamela Garcy, PhD is a Dallas Morning News Local Best-selling Author of The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune In and Turn On and creator of the e-zine Insourcing: Inner Guidance Secrets.